Our Lives Are Not Our Own...

So recently, I spent a couple of days in the hospital. I was released yesterday morning and I'm basically on bed rest and I'm still on a bunch of medicine. I had a severe asthma attack Thursday night and I'm still not completely better but I'm doing a lot better than I was. I was suppose to leave for Chattanooga Saturday to go to Campus Outreach New Years Conference. At first I was very upset that I couldn't go because I was in the hospital. I thought this is stupid I can't go because my lungs aren't letting me breathe. But through a lot of prayer and texts from my friends. I realized if I was meant to go I would have. God has a plan and It's not always our plan. I thought that going to NYC was what God wanted and I was upset that I couldn't go. I think that all of this though was kind of like God giving me a wake up call. I've been dealing with my asthma a lot over the past few months and I never really gave myself time to fully recover. I just thought If I take my medicine and keep doing everything I was doing before it will just go away, but that wasn't the case. I was trying to make my plan God's plan but that's not how God works. We have no control over our lives God is in control. I believe through this experience God was trying to tell me to take care of myself, to stop trying to do everything on my own, to ask God for help and rely on Him for my strength. If I trust in Him everything will work out. I shouldn't stress over the things I can't control. Right now, although it makes me sad I'm not a NYC, I need to make sure I'm taking care of myself. I need to slow down and make sure my priorities are straight. I need to make sure I'm giving my life to Christ and not trying to make my plan His plan. We as humans get caught up way to often if the everyday life of school, work, family, etc. We try to control our own lives, we forget all the time that our live is not our own. We are here to bring glory to God, and spread His word. But in order to do that we need to make sure we are taking care of our own relationship with God and growing in that relationship. We need to surround ourselves with people who are going to point us to Christ. So I guess What I'm trying to say is that over the past few months I was trying to control my life and do everything on my own, when what I really needed is God. I need to put Him first and stop trying to do everything on my own. Well I'm going to get back to Sudoku, movies and breathing treatments. I hope all of you have a great New Year!
-Heather Marie

Rediscovering the Joy of Christmas....Through Music.

For those of you that don't know I'm a Entertainment Industry Major at the University of North Alabama. I'm a junior studying the Business side of the Music Industry. I use to love Christmas time, and love listening to Christmas music. What this has to do with my Major we'll get to that later. I've been reminiscing lately, I remember putting up the Christmas tree the day after thanksgiving. My mom, sister and I would put on Christmas music and break out all the ornaments and little village houses and lights. It was such a joyful time. I got to spend time with my family and sing songs granted my mom was tone def so she never sang in tune, but that didn't matter. It was about family and Jesus and celebrating his birth. 

After moving to college and my moms passing, I loved to go home and be with my dad and sister but it wasn't the same it never would be. Putting up the Christmas tree and decorating without my mom just wasn't the same. I started to resent people who would listen to Christmas music all the time and be joyful, and I hated stores for skipping over Halloween and Thanksgiving and putting out Christmas stuff in September. I knew that's not the way I should be but that's the way I felt. 

I rarely go home now not because I don't want to but because I'm just so busy with my life in Florence. I just got back from my thanksgiving break and I loved spending time with my family, I hadn't been home in months. After all the Thanksgiving gatherings, there wasn't that "now Thanksgiving is over time to decorate for Christmas" feeling. I'm not even sure my dad is going to put a Christmas tree up this year. It makes me sad, not because Christmas is all about decorating its about Jesus and celebrating his birth, but it's fun to spend time with your family and sing, be joyful, wish for snow, and drink hot cocoa. 

Over the past two years I just stopped thinking about Christmas. I would never make a big deal about it, but I just bought She & Him's new Christmas album because I love their sound and Zooey Deschanel's voice. I don't know what it was, but Listening to their Christmas songs just sparked some kind of joy in me. I started to remember all the good times with my mom all the laughs and how I should spend life celebrating her and being the person she knew I could be. It made me think of what she always use to tell me, "Christmas isn't about presents it's about celebrating the birth of Jesus, his life, and what's He's done for us. It's about being with your family and the joy of having each others company." I now can't stop smiling and can't wait to get home and put on Christmas music and start singing and decorating even if my father protest. Yes, I still dislike store's skipping over Halloween and Thanksgiving and going straight to Christmas, but I think I understand it a little more. We all long for that time of year when we can sit by a fire with the ones we love and celebrate life. 

So now back to my Major. It's funny how music, the one thing that has changed and inspired my life so much, including my choice of Major, can make me love Christmas again. I know God has been working on the hardness in my heart for a while and he used music to soften it. So be happy this Christmas no matter what you are going through or what you've been through. Just remember What Christmas is truly about: Family and the most important family member of all your Heavenly Father.

-Heather Marie